It’s that time of the year when a good chunk o the appliance industry shuffles off to Germany to display all their latest models and tech to the trade so, what’s going on in 2017/18?
The answer is, a we suspected as we didn’t bother going again this year, not much.
From what we’ve seen it’s all been about connected appliances, some of them just totally off the wall whacky!
Still trying to sell people on the idea of their “styler” thing that nobody asked for but, we got anyway. It’s okay we guess, if you have space and money to spare to waste on something that seems to be next to useless.
Oh and their “Twin Wash” system where you get a baby washing machine slung under a normal one.
Or, you could instead just buy a compact washer.
Either of these will set you back £1500 or more.
Not to be outdone and, even with their boss currently detained by Korean authorities on bribery and corruption charges Samsung plate the “connected” card, everywhere.
And that’d be fine but they also tend to obsolete parts pretty early and we’re quite sure that the people buying into this and, investing ton of cash, wont’ be too pleased about not being able to repair it a few years down the road.
But they’ve come up with the zany idea of seating the drum and backplate to create a contrasting movement that increases agitation and cleans clothes better.
Perhaps we should send Samsung a copy of the HLCC guidelines about agitation heels as we’d bet their new cycles wont’ be HLCC approved which means, they might wreck some garments.
Good one Sammy!
The see-through show machine is pretty though don’t you think.
Other than that Samsung were just punting the same old, same old, Add A Wash and so on.
Rumours are that they’ve stopped washing machine s in the EU.
They had a clothes folding robot though.
That’s ten years away (at least) and will likely cost a fortune.
And Candy has… an oven with a screen on the door… ta da!
Now let’s take a step back here and think.. electronics… high heat… steam… rough environment?
No, it’s really not a good idea.
But just look at how much oven space it eats up, seriously, you might be able to bake a couple of muffins in there but you sure ain’t going to be on the Great British Bake off anytime soon!
Miele have an oven that is a microwave that isn’t a microwave!
At last, something that’s actually new as it uses radio waves (seriously, we’re not joking) to cook for that Miele promise will be perfect every time but then, Miele would say that.
Don’t get too exited just yet though as it’s not to be launched yet that we can see and with an expected price of about £7-8000 we don’t think there will be a queue to buy one either.
Bosch meanwhile made a bit of a fuss over their new X-Spect thing.
Okay so this is a bit new (sorta) and a bit of a departure from Bosch as it's not an appliance but a device like a barcode scanner that you hold up to stains, it scans them and tells people how to sort those out.
Now we are old fashioned here in some regards but, why would anyone need this? Or, let's put that more accurately, why would anyone pay for it? After all, how long will be be before some bright spark invents a phone app that does much the same thing?
All questions we thought of and Bosch has an answer as it says this thing will also be able to scan food so you know your peaches are ripe and so on. Or scan a barcode and set your oven up to cook stuff, so long as you've got aBosch, Neff or Siemens one at least!
We get it. We think it plumbs new depths of human laziness or perhaps stupidity but, we get it.
But the crucial thing here is the price as, if this thing costs more than a fairly disposable gadget, we doubt anyone will buy it.
So that’s pretty much all the big news from IFA this year, such as it is and as we bang on about all the time, yet again, not really any moves forward really.
Sure, control systems, platforms and probably a bunch of other stuff that people that actually buy these things care little about but apart from that, very little to no real innovation.
And, from what we've seen here, about the most justifiable reason for flying to Berlin would be to get some Currywurst!